This guy is talented.
And not only at basketball.
He is also a very talented delayer.
He hasn't quite warmed up to his new title, "Mr. Delay Tactics," but I feel he will in time. He has definitely earned it.
He has earned this nickname by being a champion delayer, of all things not-fun. These things include (but are not limited to):
- Getting ready for bed. Jasper delays this nightly. We say, "okay, time to get ready for bed" at least 3 times before he moves his legs.
- Doing the dishes. Mr. Delay has been known to take 3 hours to load and unload a dish washer. Now that is some serious delaying talent.
- Mowing the lawn. This is understandable - and not his best talent since he has gotten much better at it lately and also mows our neighbor's lawn. He is still good at not getting out the door to mow until after several pleadings from his parents.
- Homework (yes I'm mean and make him do some summertime homework). This is accompanied by moans and groans! Two pages of sums and grammar and the kid can take 2 hours. He has such a gift!
- Brushing his teeth. Now this one is special, since he delays only the getting to the bathroom to brush his teeth part. The actual brushing, shockingly, is done with record speed! The kid can pick up the brush, load on the paste, brush and rinse all in 10 seconds flat. Unbelievable!
- Taking a shower. Until Jasper, I never knew anyone who hated getting clean this much. Sometimes he manages to delay it even a day or two - depending on how stinky he is, and how good he is at convincing us that he'll just take it in the morning.
- Putting anything away. I think most kids are good at this - even most adults! I'll even put his shoes on his dinner plate as a gentle reminder that they need to be put away, and even still - it is delayed. I'm just in awe.
Way to go Mr. Delay Tactics!
4 comments:
Michelle, I love your views of kid behavior. It makes me feel that I am sane and not a compulsive harper. How many times must I repeat myself? But you say my thoughts humorously and not with the grumble I do. I am sure glad you are in my family!!
He is definitely related to his cousins ... we'll call them Masters of Delay Tactics. Nice!
Hahahaha!! Good job, Jasper! Way to be the best at what you do! :)
I am still like that about some things. Procrastination is my most frustrating tendency!
And now I'll speak for every teacher Jasper will ever have: I love you, I love you, I love you! Summer is fabulous and relaxing, yes, but it can actually knock a student three (additional) months back from where they were at the end of the school year if left to their own devices. Thank you for making him read! Thank you for making him do homework! You are the best kind of parent any of us could ask for! Jasper will benefit greatly for you being so "mean".
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